You Need to go to Practice: A Letter to Myself, Mostly.

Some people eat when they're feeling lost. I forget to eat, and I paint instead. Lately I haven't even done that.

From the helmet of:  Tesla

Oh, Tesla.  When we are unhappy, we usually know how to become happy. We know which direction we need to travel, which mountains to climb, which floors to sweep, and which closets to purge. We know the effort we will have to make, and how to accomplish the tasks. Yet, it is at these moments when we often feel the most lost and desperate. Why should we feel this way when we know the answer? Because, the answer is hard.  The tasks are tiresome, grueling, and uncomfortable. Because sitting idle is easier! It's so hard to start something when the task is large and you feel so small, but it's hard to finish something you aren't willing to start.

This is why you need to go to practice.  You need to get up off the sofa, put down your smart phone, and go to practice. You need to shake the idleness from your bones and awaken your will.  Being quiet and still is wonderful, but it is not productive.  Sometimes you need to get your head straight and your space organized so that you can enjoy the quiet stillness.  You have to wake up!  You have to move.  You need energy and drive to be the person you want to be, to live the life you want to live. How can you not feel alive on the track? How can you not feel life's heartbeat when you're pressed against the racing heartbeat of the pack?  You'll remember your strength when you brace for impact, when you push yourself forward and inhale deeply. Your sofa may be nice, the voices and echos of your home may be comforting, but you need to go to practice.  

Inspiration isn't found lying around the house. You can't find it on the bathroom counter, or in the refrigerator.  You can't earn it in hours of seeking it out. Inspiration is born of experience and reflection. It hides just outside your narrow comfort zone, waiting for you to feel something, even if that something is apprehension or pain. We need inspiration to keep going, to keep creating, to keep giving, and we need all of those things in order to thrive. We need the cold eye of a stranger, and we need the warm smile of new friend. Sometimes we need those two things from the same person, to remind us of the good there is still in the world, and that we are still able to find it.  You won't find anything if you don't look for it.  You won't earn anything for which you don't work.

So, get up and go. Put on your sneakers, gather your gear, and go. Do something that scares you.  Do it with all your heart and don't look at your feet. 

Love,
Me